Thursday, April 17, 2014

Who is Piloting Your Purpose?

I panicked yesterday afternoon.  I'd poured my heart into my little blog, mashed the "publish" button, sat back to enjoy the fireworks, and then......next to nothing.  Negative, defeatist thoughts began to trickle in.  I started to question myself.  Was it not relatable enough?  Is the forum working properly?  Did I say something wrong?

Next came one of those Coffee/Prayer sequences--first the natural, then the spiritual, that I discussed in my second blog and I was literally drinking coffee when it happened which is RICH!!  Deep breath, Nyla.  You always do this, I told myself.  You always have these ridiculous expectations, you always make these rules and then when things don't pan out, you panic and quit.  Enough already!  You just started!  Give yourself a break and a chance!  Coffee cup emptied--crisis averted.

Fast-forward to earlier today.....I was considering what to write as well as rehashing my concerns from the night before.  Now, some of you know how loud the Holy Spirit can be and He stopped me right in my tracks this morning when He said:

It's not about you, Nyla.  You are a vehicle, a vessel, a servant.  The glory is mine.  The recognition is mine. 

I said to myself, "Shol' is." in an epiphany sort of way.

It is my heart's desire to be a righteous woman--a godly woman, and because of that I do believe my steps are both consciously and unconsciously ordered.  I like to call the unconsciously ordered steps Holy Spirit Autopilot.  The danger of autopilot is it's easy to forget who is really sitting at the controls.  I had been waking each morning asking for general guidance, but last night I forgot who was in the captain's chair. 

I want to be consciously walking in the Spirit--I'm on autopilot a bit more than I ought to be.  From this point forward, I will be seeking a very specific leading regarding each and every detail of this forum and be careful to remember the true reason and purpose behind it all.   I am dedicating all of my efforts to God.  I will use this blog to publicly give thanks to God for all He has done, to publicly worship Him for He is worthy to be praised.  This is my public testimony of how He brought me out of darkness and into His wonderful light.  May I never receive one word of feedback if it would mean my pride getting in the way of His word.  I will continue to shoot my thoughts out into the atmosphere as an offering--and that is enough.

And, so, let us imagine for a moment that I did quit.  Uugh.  Quitting...that's what I've been known to do...often--quit, because I'm focusing on the wrong thing or things.............. How often do we cut ourselves short with unnecessary rules and stipulations?  How often do we hinder the leading of the Holy Spirit as we pridefully focus on ourselves?  How often do we quit too soon for lack of vision--for not understanding what our true purpose is?  I have had my head stuck up my own hind-parts for far too long.....what a shame--so many missed opportunities. 

If you are likewise making your way on Holy Spirit Autopilot (or perhaps it is you seated in the captain's chair) I invite you to join me in consciously inviting the Lord to order your steps, cover your thoughts, and keep you ever mindful to give God all the glory when He uses you.

If you've read this blog I ask that you Holla Back in the comments with: "Keep it simple, Nyla."

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All my love.....

I like to thank two of my beautiful friends, Sheryl and Julie, as well as my parents.  You were each used by God in the formulating of this post and I thank you for being such wonderful gifts in my life.