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Wednesday, May 28, 2014

Hilarious Things My Kid Has Said


Here's a little something lighter than usual.  I've got some heavy posts bubbling within, but have not been able to articulate them yet.  Today I offer you a post full of happiness.  I've kept a list of the things my  Cadence has said in the past couple of weeks that have made me snortle.
snôrt-kəl: a combination of a snort and a chuckle
I know....I know....every bodies' kids say the darnedest things, but my Cadence just slays me!  I hope that you too get a snortle or two out of the list I've compiled.  

My Cadence around 18 months old.
Cadence, my first born, entered the scene four-and-a-half years ago.  She is vivacious yet dainty.  She is passionate and dreamy, mixed with a portion of sensitive moodiness.  She is so many things I never was and I would rather die than cause her shine to fade.  
I am most comfortable lost in my thoughts.  I enjoy being among the ones I love without engaging as engaging is typically rather exhausting for me.  Cadence would chat in her sleep if that was possible.  The girl never stops talking.  And there are questions piled upon questions next to questions about questions.  She is a walking trigger for my anxiety. 

She is the most beautiful butterfly I've ever seen and though our differences drive me at times up the proverbial wall, my constant prayer is that I never break or damage one of her wings.
For that, she will make me a better woman for I will figure this out for her.  For her I will learn how to let the butterfly flap its wings all in my face, tickle my nose, whisper in my ears, and darn near choke me when I try to speak.....because that's love.  
(Listening to Nina Simone while composing this was a huge mistake.....)

Alright!  Now for the fun stuff!!  
Most of these crack me up because of their sheer randomness.  I will first list the ones which require a bit of context to appreciate....

"Does Hollywood have lots of flowers?"
Cadence caught snippets of the beginning of this latest season of American Idol.  I never explained the concept of the audition process, yet she would get really excited as the judges and lucky contestant screamed and rejoiced about going to some place called, "Hollywood!!" Out of the blue I started getting the most random questions as she began to ponder this Hollywood.
"Can we move to Hollywood when dad is done with his promise?"
To which I replied, "What do you mean--dad's promise?"

"Gramma told me that Dad's promise is to work until I'm six and after 
that we won't live here anymore.  We'll pack up everything....
.......even our bikes."
Apparently, months ago, my mom had explained my husband's contractual obligation to the Marine Corps as a promise.  It tickles me so every time she talks about her dad's promise.

"Happy Mother's Day, mom!!!"
It wasn't Mother's Day.

"Is dad the boss of you?"
It was a struggle.  I will admit that.  But, I did manage to answer, however weakly, "Yes."

"Mom, can you change Shyne's name to Sparkle?"
This is Shyne.  Enough said.
Where does the Lord live?

Is everyone married?

Are there any eye pipes in your body?

What's Jesus' nickname?

Mom, do queens dance?

Do fish go to school?

Mom, do germs show their underwear?

When we go to gramma's house could you ask her if we could go to the farm and ask the farmer how to make a basket?

Mom, do you have anything that I could bring on my journey through blossom woods?

Rules for a princess:
1. Never show your underwear
2. Never scream for your prince
That last one just slays me.  Won't you Holla back!! in the comments with your favorite bit of Cadence. And please! if nothing else!  ~smile~ and have a wonderful day.  All my crazy crazy love....

~me~ 

Check out this
by 
Sybil