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Friday, August 22, 2014

I Hope No One Saw Me Sweat

My anxiety was acting a fool this week.  Of course I Blasted, ended up learning that my Core Issue was a disruption to any daily life-patterns--I learned that it wasn't the situation itself making me uncomfortable, but rather the fact that it was causing a deviation from my normal routine.

That was a fine and dandy revelation that calmed me from a 10 to a 3 but the 3 was still nagging me....
somewhere deep inside I knew my center was off and my Facebook newsfeed confirmed it when my cousin Vance's post slapped me with conviction:
Follow Vance Watt @IAmPraiz
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 Ferguson, MO updates from a 
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Click here for music from @IAmPraiz.
                                                       
So that was Wednesday.  All day Thursday my trigger was still alive and well, yet I was in a different place mentally because I understood my Core Issue and I had a solution: correct my center and reenter a state of Perfect Peace (Isaiah 26:3.)

This morning I was seeking a verse with which to create a photo message for my blog's Facebook page and Twitter account when I stumbled upon Hebrews 12:1-2.
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up.  And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.  2. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith.  Because of the joy awaiting him, beside God's throne." (NLT)
 

(After I Tweet a thought, I like to search for other Tweets from people within the same vein around the same time as me.)

As I searched Twitter for Hebrews 12:1-2, over and over again I saw an emphasis only on the "what," on the "how" and on the "reward' but no one focused on the "why" even though that "therefore, since" is clearly the preface of an answer to the question of why we are to run the race of God with endurance.

But that first line wholly gripped me and I was convicted yet again: Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith...
I was reminded that me feeling good is of secondary importance to God getting the glory and not my flesh and secondary to the importance of God holding my attention rather than the things of earth.  I was reminded that the lost, the hurting, the wounded are always watching me live my life of faith. (*Editorial Note: It has come to my attention that I misinterpreted Hebrew/s 12:1.  The crowd of witnesses are the saints described /in Hebrews chapter 11 and not about unbelievers.8/27/2014 )
In that moment I was reminded of my inherent fickleness.  I mourned my wasted days obsessing over pettiness and my disappointing follow-through on a recent commitment to cease walking in the flesh.  As I mentioned in my open letter apology to my sister, "...they that are in the flesh cannot please God." (Romans 8:6)

I cannot please God in any moment where He is not my center.  I cannot be a beacon of light for the crowd of witnesses at any time where God is not my center.  I absolutely will lose my perfect peace when God is not my center, but it's so much bigger than me.  Saints, it's so much bigger than us.
And so, I am grateful to my cousin who humbly highlighted through his own self reproach that as soon as I took my eyes and mind off of Jesus, the things of this world became clear and distracting and caused me great anxiety.

I definitely prefer the "strangely dim" version of the things of this world and I sincerely hope that I've learned my lesson this time because oh how I want to be an available vessel for Christ and anxiety is for the birds.... preferably vultures.





Please enjoy this rendition of Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus by Hillsong.  It is one of our Power Promises!  Isaiah 26:3 "Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace who's mind is stayed on Thee; because he trusteth in Thee."

Won't you Holla Back! by commenting, "I'm claiming my Power Promise today!"  Until next time, all my crazy crazy love........

~me~

It is my pleasure to share with you the music of Praiz featuring Tony Metcalf.